06-18-06: Why the lack of rants, Erik? Surely there hasn’t been a lack topics, has there? Of course there have been plenty of topics to riff on – the idolization of fools, the inept handling of the gas situation, Al Gore just now being recognized for his on-screen duties – but there is a topic that I’ve wanted to talk about for a while. It’s a disease that has gripped the nation and it seems to get worse as the years go on. It is the disease called Dumb. Now, Dumb is a condition that millions of people are afflicted with. You see it in their eyes; you hear it in their voice. Before, there where shining institutes that cured Dumb where children and adults alike would acquire Knowledge. Schools, colleges and apprenticeships would allows those already cured of Dumb to pass their knowledge on to others. The trades-folk, the teachers, even the everyday street philosopher are the cornerstones of creativity, thinking and open discussion but the times have seen less of these noble people rising up and taking the job of curing Dumb. More and more, poor planning and infinitely smaller school budgets hobble good teachers while those who can’t teach ride along on tenure, free from the fear of being fired and replaced by teachers who care. The trades-folk are loosing their trades as less people wish to work them or support them by hiring them/buying their wares. Finally, thanks to a drastic decrease in open debate and discussion on topics of importance, the street philosophers have all but gone. This has lead to a steady rise in Dumb over the years. Without an educated workforce, big businesses that had not yet succumb to greed follow the education outside the US where throngs of willing workers take the jobs we are simply too ignorant to do. You can’t find a decent education anymore unless you’re exceptionally lucky to find some of the good teachers or you pay through the nose for it. With the bulk of the states’ population too poor to afford a private education, kids are being spit out of school systems knowing just enough to get them by. In some places, they don’t even have that. There are no more street philosophers starting open debates on topics like this. Instead, the sounds of complaints about “lazy people stealing our jobs” and “Nobody shoots anybody in the face unless you're a hit man or a video gamer." are heard far and wide. Dumb leads to the rise of false thinkers like Bill O’Reilly, John Gibson and Tucker Carlson who’s word is taken as gospel and not as the opinions of a single person. Left untreated and this condition worsens. Dumb will progress to its advanced form – Stupid. Stupid, my friends, is terminal. Ever see a new warning on the side of an old package and ask “Who doesn’t know that”? Bear witness to headlines like “Man wins court case with Twinkie Defense” or “McDonald’s food is too tasty, making America fat”? That’s Stupid. Stupid is incurable. Like an idea versus and ideal, Dumb can be easily changed where Stupid can’t. Now people may ask “How dangerous is it?” Stupid (Or as it is known by many as “Stupidity”) not only affects the Stupid but those around them. Put a stupid person behind the wheel of a vehicle and many people and creatures loose their lives. Look at the Valdez fiasco or any two car crash. Unless there are outside factors like weather or impending doom from a natural disaster, there is usually a stupid person involved. You see them on television, you hear them on the radio, many of you idolize them – The washed-out musician pulling stunts for attention, the sons and daughters of the rich whose privileged lives have made them the modern-day bourgeois, the half-crazed lawyer who rallies against video games without thought or tact, the radio show host who condemns those who do drugs while getting high off of near lethal doses of OxyContin behind the scenes… Stupid is lethal. It is up to us all to stop Dumb from progressing into Stupid by going out and attaining knowledge. Read books you may not normally read and put down the magazines the scream about the ten sexiest women or how to get thin the [insert unhealthy actress here] way. If you want to watch television, don’t sit down and watch American Idol or the Simple Life. Watch something on PBS or the Discovery Channel. Ask questions and question the answers too simple to be right if you don’t understand. Put down the filthy magazine/drop the filthy websites and take a stand in your local and federal governments. Do your part and we’ll have Stupid levels in check within two generations. Of course, that's just what I think.